A Quick Rant about Capri Sun

I have it on good authority that one KGB interrogation technique is to ask people to open one of these shiny packets of interminable frustration.

I couldn’t help noticing how close Capri Sun is to trending on Twitter and I had to say something: Capri Suns are a sadistic experiment to see how much shit consumers will put up with. Fact.



Things that are wrong with Capri Sun:

  • It’s a non-rigid liquid container. Doesn’t that strike you as stupid? I can’t even put the thing down, I have to hold it all the time because it keeps falling over and that problem only gets worse the more I drink because it loses its vaguely flat base and the weight to hold it down. And don’t even think about trying to drink one on a windy day!
  • World’s thinnest, easily-inhalable straws that don’t even have a bend in them to make them less inhalable!
  • A hole in the side which isn’t even above the level of the liquid inside so you inevitably get a dribble on your hands when you “pierce foil with straw”?
  • Really – pierce foil with straw? You haven’t heard of sports caps? Come on guys.
  • World’s thinnest straw that doesn’t even go all the way to the bottom of the stupid, unstable, non-rigid liquid container so you inevitably have to scrunch the thing up to get the last few dregs out
  • 40p a carton, are you insane?


How do you solve a problem like Capri Sun?

Oh. It looks like, somewhere, they already have.  Continue Reading “A Quick Rant about Capri Sun”