When a guy (Dave) emailed Ocean Marketing for an update on his order for the “Avenger” game controller, he was met with abuse and condescention.
“We do value our customers but sometimes we get children like you we just have to put you in the corner with your im stupid hat on.”
“im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else.”
Dave took exception (quite rightly) and then CC’d in Mike Krahulik of Penny Arcade fame.
Mike challenged Ocean Marketing’s Paul Christoforo’s attitude and said he wouldn’t be welcome at the popular PAX gaming convention he organised every year.
Not quite understanding who he was talking to, Paul went on the offensive again, dropping names of people he “knew”.
“I’m born and raised in Boston I know the people who run the city inside and out watch the way you talk to people you never know who they know it’s a small industry and everyone knows everyone. Your acting like a douchbag not that it matters pax east pax west , e3 , CES , Gamer Con , SSXW ,Comic Con, Germany I’m all over the place. If we want to be there we will be there with industry badges or with a booth you think I can’t team up with turtle beach , Callibur or Koy Christmas , I can’t get Kevin Kelly to pull some strings or G4 , Paul Eibler Ex CEO of take 2 , Rich Larocco Konami , Cliff Blizinski Epic who were working with on a gears version , Activision who were working with on a MW3 and Spider man Bundle , The Convention Center Owners themselves , Mayor of Boston come on Bud you run a show that’s all you do and lease a center in Cities you have no pull in its all about who you know not what you do.”
At this point, Mike decides to drop his trump card onto the table:
“I do run Pax, but I also run a website called penny arcade. It’s kinda popular.”
From there, it becomes a penis-sizing competition and Mike wins. In fact, it doesn’t just end with Mike pushing Paul’s face into the digital mud, Mike posts the whole shooting match on his exceedingly good, and popular website:
And that was the end of it? Not quite. It was just the start.
“Part of me wants to feel bad for your girlfriend and your baby. But I was raised to live by a rule wherein you treat others as you want to be treated. That is to say, unless you want to be treated poorly, don’t be a giant douchebag. You did this to yourself, and to your family. It’s not our fault, or Penny-Arcade’s fault, or consumer Dave’s fault. You did this, and it isn’t us you should be apologizing to – internet douchebag bullies are the same everywhere, and we’ll deal with you one way or another – but your girlfriend and your child. Your business is effectively dead and your reputation in tatters. You ought to be thinking long and hard about how you’re going to support them. You can be a deadbeat on the internet all you like, but please don’t be a deadbeat dad. Please try to change, for the sake of your child.
Someone who’s actually really effing pleased that you got what was coming to you. Justice is beautiful.”
Ocean Finance is no longer a distributor of the Avenger controller. Its creator, David Kotkin, said:
“We apologize for our poor representation from Ocean Marketing. We wanted to give Paul a chance. He was rough around the edges, but he had drive and enthusiasm. However his behavior was unprovoked, unnecessary, and unforgivable. We are no longer represented by Ocean Marketing.”
But there is a positive side to Paul’s self-destruction of his [Anti-] PR company. He has become the Internet’s latest meme.
Many thanks to @_MarkNorris for the heads up on this story.