A Quick Rant about Capri Sun

I have it on good authority that one KGB interrogation technique is to ask people to open one of these shiny packets of interminable frustration.

I couldn’t help noticing how close Capri Sun is to trending on Twitter and I had to say something: Capri Suns are a sadistic experiment to see how much shit consumers will put up with. Fact.



Things that are wrong with Capri Sun:

  • It’s a non-rigid liquid container. Doesn’t that strike you as stupid? I can’t even put the thing down, I have to hold it all the time because it keeps falling over and that problem only gets worse the more I drink because it loses its vaguely flat base and the weight to hold it down. And don’t even think about trying to drink one on a windy day!
  • World’s thinnest, easily-inhalable straws that don’t even have a bend in them to make them less inhalable!
  • A hole in the side which isn’t even above the level of the liquid inside so you inevitably get a dribble on your hands when you “pierce foil with straw”?
  • Really – pierce foil with straw? You haven’t heard of sports caps? Come on guys.
  • World’s thinnest straw that doesn’t even go all the way to the bottom of the stupid, unstable, non-rigid liquid container so you inevitably have to scrunch the thing up to get the last few dregs out
  • 40p a carton, are you insane?


How do you solve a problem like Capri Sun?

Oh. It looks like, somewhere, they already have. 


Capri Sun v2.0


OK, so it doesn’t solve the floppy carton issue, but it’s less of a problem when you can put the top back on it!!

How come us Brits, and the Germans who have to put up with it being called “Capri Sonne”, get the crappy, completely unfit-for-purpose floppy version?!

Where do I buy these second-generation Capri Suns in bulk please?


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